Adoption Begins

The words "you are pregnant" how they can put a range of feelings into a woman.
Whether they are visual as in a pregnancy test or a doctor or nurse telling you.
For most women it is a joyous feeling, they have anticipated the news, are excited and for some it is a different kind of feeling. Carrying another human life inside you is a hard thing to describe. A wide range of emotions moves through you from the moment you conceive till the moment you give birth.
A child is born, and usually at some point before the child is born there is a moment when a mother who places her child knows and understands what she feels she needs to do for the best interest of the child. Each woman has her reasons, but this in no ways an easy choice, it tears at your heart and soul, you worry about your child feeling unloved, you worry about the kind of home and upbringing. There is a fear that the child you are carrying will never know the love that went into the choice you made.
As a child that was told when small I was adopted I grew up with the other feelings.
Was I wanted, did I do something wrong, I knew I was loved, I knew I had the greatest family, but I also knew that there were people out there who somehow were connected to me. As an adult who was going to place a child for adoption I worried that she might always wonder why I would place her and not raise her as my own.
The moment came when I knew my little girl was on her way, I cried so many tears as I wanted to keep my baby, I wanted her to know and understand all the love I had for her and all the wonderful things life has. As I held her and spoke to her I cried, I sang her a song and told her over and over all the love I had for her. Then she was removed from my arms, and my life but I knew would never be far from my thoughts and my heart.
Somewhere out there in this big world a family was receiving the happiest call in the world, there was crying, hugs, joy. How could two such moments bring such different emotions in such opposite directions for two separate familys.
Adoption in all of its many varieties will be shared. Adoption is like anything in this life, there are moments of joy, sadness,happiness, wonderment and frustration.
May you find this journey with me to be an interesting one.